


Wilbur Soot Goes Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs

by Rats_As_Models



Series: SBI Goes Crazy [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Actually beta read??? wow, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Betaed, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dadza, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Gen, Insane Wilbur Soot, Kinda, SBI GO BRRRRRRRRRR, Sleep Bois Inc - Freeform, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Thank you my beta reader, Tommy is mentioned for like, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, but not in that way, cocoa puffs, hes a good dad here, i dont know what else to put, i think thats it, one line, shopping!, uuuuh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:06:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29193519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rats_As_Models/pseuds/Rats_As_Models
Summary: Phil went into the kitchen, expecting to make some breakfast, and have a quiet saturday. What he did not expect, however, was to see his second oldest son curled on the floor, rocking back and forth, head in between his hands.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & Phil Watson
Series: SBI Goes Crazy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2148153
Comments: 18
Kudos: 160





	Wilbur Soot Goes Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my amazing beta reader whom i appreciate very much for all her help
> 
> to the rest of my discord: A AAAAAAAAAAAAA A AAAAAAAAAAA

Phil yawned, blinking open his eyes. The sun glared through his window, bringing warmth into the room. Ah, right. He should wake up now.  
  
He sat up slowly, stretching as the blankets fell off his shoulders. Swinging his legs off the bed, he stood, bones cracking. The man walked to his dresser, pulling open a drawer and grabbing a shirt. His pajama pants dragged across the carpet.  
  
Throwing on the shirt, he yawned and left his room, walking down the stairs. The house seemed generally quiet, a calm aura resting hazily inside.  
  
He went into the kitchen, expecting to make some breakfast, and have a quiet saturday. What he did not expect, however, was to see his second oldest son curled on the floor, rocking back and forth, head in between his hands.  
  
Worry struck him like a bolt of lightning, nesting deep into his chest. He knelt down softly, lowering his voice cautiously. “Wil? You alright, mate?”  
  
Wilbur sucked in a shaky breath, his body trembling. The teenager looked up, and Phil had never been more terrified of his son in his life.  
  
There was a gleam in his eye, a sharp gleam that Phil had never seen on his son's face before. It was a gleam that spoke of obsession, of madness, of a single-minded focus on an object that should have never been focused on in the first place. And yet Phil knew he could do nothing to stop it.  
  
A crooked smile was plastered onto his face, teeth bared almost animalistically.  
  
Phil swallowed down the uncharacteristic fear, reaching out a hand slowly, like he would to a feral animal. Wilbur just smiled at him. He seemed to be whispering something.  
  
“Wil? You alright?”  
  
“Cocoa puffs.”  
“Wha- what?”  
The boy giggled, suddenly lunging forward and grabbing the older man's shoulders with a surprisingly strong iron grip.  
  
“Cocoa puffs!” he repeated urgently. “Cocoa puffs, cocoa puffs! Cocoa. PUFFS!”  
  
Phil was _so fucking confused._  
  
The stairs creaked, signalling that someone was coming down. Hopefully to save Phil from whatever the fuck was wrong with Wilbur. He looked over his shoulder, sighing in relief at the sight of his oldest, Technoblade.  
  
“Techno! Mate, you gotta help me-”  
The pink-haired man spared him one glance, looking him up and down before immediately going towards the coffee machine without a word. Phil stared at him in betrayal.  
  
“Wh- Techno!”  
Technoblade gave a non-committal hum, starting up the coffee machine. Wilbur practically cackled, his grip somehow tightening.  
  
“Cocoa puffs!” he shouted. If he were an animal, or any more unhinged, the blond wascertain he would be foaming at the mouth.  
  
“We’re out of Cocoa Puffs!” the teen giggled, bending in half and curling up on the floor, soon devolving into hysterical, half-maddened laughter. Phil stiffened in realization.  
  
“THAT’S what you’re freaking out about? Wil, you’ve never done this before.” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in between his fingers.  
  
“Cocoa puffs. Cocoa- Cocoa puffs! Techno, cocoa puffs, right?”  
Wilbur’s twin simply nodded. “Cocoa puffs.”  
  
“What?! You can’t seriously be encouraging him!” the blond exclaimed.  
Technoblade smirked, sipping out of a coffee mug. “The man knows his Cocoa puffs.”  
  
  
“Oh my- _fine_ , come on, we’re going to the store and getting you some Cocoa puffs.”  
  
Wilbur shouted with glee, falling onto his back and cackling like a madman, repeating ‘Cocoa Puffs’ over and over again.  
  
“Have fun.”  
“No, Tech, you’re coming with.”  
“Heh?!”

* * *

Philza managed to wrangle his sons into the store, a hand on both of their shirt collars. Wilbur’s to keep him from running off and causing chaos. Techno’s to keep him from running off and leaving Phil with the maniac.  
  
Wilbur started to calm down, though, so he loosened his grip.  
  
Oh boy, was that a mistake.  
  
The boy shot off immediately, giggling like a small child. He ran for the cereal aise, looking like a dirty street rat catching sight of a free meal. Techno and Phil shared a look, before sprinting after him.  
  
Wilbur was making a bee-line for it, knocking over everything in his way. Literally. He bowled through a display stand and kicked over a small child. Phil made hurried apologies to the child's rightfully pissed mother as he sprinted after his wayward son.  
  
The brunette huddled in the cereal aisle, thumbing through the boxes hurriedly, mumbling incoherently. Techno groaned, going to grab him.  
  
Suddenly, the teenager cackled in victory, holding up a box of the fabled Cocoa Puffs. His shoulders shook with laughter as he ripped into the box, shoveling the cereal into his mouth at a rapid rate. Techno froze, staring in what could only be described as confusion and horror. An onlooking store employee looked a few seconds away from a heart attack.  
  
Phil watched in horror as Wilbur suddenly darted off again, holding the box of cocoa puffs. He ran after his son, aiming to stop him before any more damage could be caused.  
  
It took him a minute, but he eventually found Wilbur in the milk section, fighting with a store employee over a jug of milk. Eventually his son bent in half with maniacal laughter, his voice cracking. The poor employee dropped the milk and ran off in fear.  
  
Satisfied with his victory, Wilbur grabbed the jug and practically tore the lid off, pouring the white bone-juice into the box of chocolatey cereal, before holding the box to his mouth and just _chugging_ it.  
  
Almost immediately after, the lanky teen just… collapsed. Phil ran forwards, managing to catch him before his head hit the floor. Techno watched, sighing. “This is going to be a pain to clean up.”  
  
After a long while of apologizing to the store’s associates, lugging around Wil, and driving home, they finally arrived, setting the boy on the couch.  
  
Later, he would wake up, wondering what happened, Phil and Technoblade gaping in shock as he explained that he remembered nothing of the day's events.  
  
And so, months passed. Phil always kept the cabinet stocked with Cocoa Puffs, which satisfied Wilbur and Tommy. The Cocoa Puffs incident seemed to have been forgotten.  
  
Until one day, Philza Minecraft walked into the kitchen to see his second oldest curled on the floor, giggling and mumbling. He kneeled down, a familiar worry bursting in his chest. “Wil, what's wrong?”  
  
His son gazed up at him with a maddened look that struck fear into his heart.  
“ _Who the fuck ate the Cocoa Puffs?_ ”


End file.
